How old do you feel?

I wrote this post last year but for some reason hadn't published it.  I'm not sure why but I got a kick out of reading it so here it is with a picture from this year's football season:

Aaron had his football party tonight and as I was talking to some of the other parents I realize how I either feel really old or too young depending on which of my kids I'm referring to. As Aaron gets older and more responsible I feel too young to be raising a young man. He'll be going into middle school next year. I think about my experiences in middle school and wonder how in the world am I going to handle these things with Aaron. I'm not old enough, wise enough, or mature enough to handle a pre-teen and I can't even think about the teenage years yet. Then on the other hand there is Elsa and Wayne. The two of them run me ragged and it is all I can do to keep up. By the end of the day I feel old.

Wayne's Words

Wayne turned two on the 2nd of November.  Words have been slow in coming for Wayne and the journey has been interesting.  I'm probably one of the few moms who got to enjoy having 'mama' be their child's first word, unfortunately his only word for a long while.  This week it seems like words have started flowing out of him.  First, I noticed him starting to say 'up' and 'down', very exciting and anytime he asked I obliged when possible.  Next was 'dada' and 'no'.  Tonight had to be one of the most exciting however.  Tonight as I was carrying him to bed he noticed the TV as we went by and called out 'fubal'!  Daddy was watching football!  Of all things!  Makes sense though since he has been inundated with watching his big brother play football that one of his first words would of course be 'fubal'.  So we chanted all the way to bed 'fuuball', 'fuuball', 'fuuball'!   Bedtime was then long in coming since he continued to chant on his own in bed 'fuuball', 'fuuball', 'fuuball'!

Jack Theodore Smith

Jack Theodore Smith

July 2, 1931 - April 21, 2011

I met Jack the summer of 1997. At the time I was going to college at the University of Portland and was looking for an inexpensive place to live close to school. I came across a room to rent just a few blocks from school. Little did I realize the lasting friendship and love that would find me there. As fate would have it I only lived in that house for a few months but mine and Jack's friendship would continue and grow until his dying day.

Who was Jack Smith? That is a question I've been asking myself a lot lately. It's a question that I wish I had asked Jack more often. Jack was one of the strongest, proudest men I know. He was a military man, a protector. When he spoke about being in the Army I could see the pride he had in his country even if he didn't necessarily like the way the country is now. 

He was a man who loved to make you laugh and loved to pass on a good dirty joke. Jack didn't talk about his past life much. We got along well because I didn't pry but if he wanted to share I would gladly listen. The few times he spoke of his wife, Lela, I was astounded by the love I could see in his eyes.  He had never remarried after she had passed away.  Jack's love was powerful and could at times be overwhelming.

I wish I could say more.  It is difficult to sum up the life of a man in just a few paragraphs.  I feel like there is just so much to his life that I didn't know about and there is so much more that I just don't know how to put in words.  Why did he choose me to be the one to take care of him when he was no longer able?  He loved me like a daughter and he will be missed.

Jack I hope you find peace.